On one of our recent train trips, there was a group 30+ school kids and we were assigned to their car, the Americus car.
They were all excited about the trip. The anticipation was over-whelming...I'm KIDDING.
All that was over-whelming was the dollar amount of techno gadgets that these 11 year old kids had!!!
They couldn't hardly keep their hands OFF their gadgets long enough to take hold of the handrail to safely board the train. They kept bumping into each other as they were walking thru the car to find a seat...their little eyes GLUED to whatever screen they had.
Then the train left! I thought for sure this would get their attention, which it did...for a nano-second. Although I will admit, some of the kids used their gizmos as video cameras and just held said apparatus up to the window as the world went rushing by.
These YOUNGSTERS know more about technology that I ever did or ever will. I have an 8 year old cell phone and I still don't know how to shut the camera off when I accidentally turn it on. Thank GOD that it knows enough to change it's own time.
And the screens of these I Phones, or I pads or whateverthehell they are..soooo small. AND the things that these pads or pods can do amazes me, although I doubt I would ever have use of any of the applications that come with or you can buy for these things.
For instance, "teaches you Spanish while you sleep"...don't drain that dainty little battery though.
There is an application for worried daters;
you enter the number of a new girl, new app on the phone disables the number for 3
days, preventing you from accidentally seeming like a pathetic, over-anxious
lonely loser who is totally desperate for a date.
They also include: A GPS to help you find whatever it is you are looking for. There is a monitor someplace in there I am SURE to help you check your glucose level. It can be used as a metal detector.
And just like on the lap tops and computer keyboards there is a scroll lock button for unknown reasons.
The newest I pads have a decibel level meter to measure loudness in rock concerts, airports, and
sounds exiting the back of your pants. If you don't have one of these features, you are already out of date.
It comes with Noise
Canceling Headphones (you are absolutely guaranteed not to hear outside noise
like fire trucks, ambulance sirens, or an SUV's squealing brakes just before it
slams into your legs, crushing you under 7,000 pounds of steel.) It actually comes with 2 sets of wireless headphones. Ear buds for summer and big huge
headphones that double as ear muffs in winter which are really good in our neck of da woods.
You can also get weather forcasts for anyplace with the patented Doppler 1,000,000,000 technology that is guaranteed to be
as accurate as your local TV Weather forecast and/or a polar bear flipping a
coin. You don't have that feature either?? Damn!!!! You ARE behind the times!
But the very best feature is that it is capable of sending and receiving text messages, instant messages,
email, MySpace messages, phone calls, voice mail, telegraph messages, Morse
code, and clicking sounds from African tribes.
Now if you only had some friends
who actually cared enough to contact you...
For the Record Book
1 week ago