I use to consider myself “tech savvy”. When it came time to hook up any new electronic contraption, it always fell to me to do it. Figure out the cell phone?? My job. Figure out how to program the old VCR to record? Me. And some of the computer things I managed to figure out by myself.
That was AGES ago. I’m no longer tech savvy nor do I even TRY to keep up with all the changes. My idea of a blackberry is something that grows on bushes and we pick in the fall. I don’t know the difference between all the various cell phones, and don’t even need to know.
But the other day, OUR lack of tech savvy knowledge was rather embarrassing.
We were trying to purchase a bag of shredded cheese and two 2 ½ gallon containers of water. There was no checkout ladies present so we had to use one of the 8 self checkout lanes. There were already 3 in use, so that dropped it down to finding 1 out of the remaining 5.
We got to one and it said “OPEN! Out of order”, so that narrowed it down to 4.
Since we have never self checked out before, Dan picked one that he hoped wouldn’t be too conspicuous to the masters of self check out.
I pressed the start button, then pressed the how do you want to pay for it button, then there were a few more questions (I think one of them required you to declare your political party, but not sure). THEN, finally a female voice emanated from this machine and said “please scan your first item”. I did that.
Then it said “please put the item in a bag”. I had to set my purse down in order to put the bag of cheese in a bag. I sat my purse down on the shelf where the bags were. After I put the bag of cheese in the bag, the voice said “Please put the item in a bag”, so I removed it from the bag and DROPPED it into the bag. That must’ve worked because she said “Please scan your next item.” Dan tried to scan the large jug of water. She said “Please scan your next item.” So he tried again and apparently got it because she then said “Please put the item in a bag.”
We did not want to use a bag to put this big plastic jug in. We were just going to carry BOTH of them since they conveniently have handles on them.
But, the voice INSISTED that we put the item in a bag. And she kept saying it. FINALLY an exasperated voice came from the machine and it said “Please remove the item from the bag.” WE both looked at each other and said “What the hell??” Since we hadn’t put it IN a bag, we were thinking that we must be on some hidden camera show. But she said again in her sensuous computer voice, “Please remove the item from the bag”.
Instead Dan tried to scan the item again (since we had two of them to pay for). Then she said in a very loud voice that left no doubt that we were no longer inconspicuous “PA-LEEZ REMOVE THE DAMN ITEM FROM THE FREEKING BAG!!!”
Then there was a message blinking on the screen that said “Please wait for the attendant.” The attendant reset the damn self check out computer voiced lady. Then the real person told us; “Your purse is on the scale that lets the computer know that there is something in the bag.”
Not quite sure what that had to do with removing the water jug from a bag that it wasn’t even in, but I picked up my purse and it seemed to make the computer voice happy. She finally acknowledged the 2nd jug of water, and told us the amount to insert and spit out a receipt to us.
So, we’ve been initiated into the self checkout world. This must be Life in the Fast Lane.
For the Record Book
1 week ago