My veins stick out like a sore thumb. No one ever has any problem poking any size needle into ALMOST any of my veins.
The veins on the top of my hands are especially prominent. All the nurses remark about my excellent veins.
But when it comes time to insert an I.V. needle (or ANY kind of needle) in the vein in the top of my hand, FORGET IT. They will roll all over the place. It’s a “catch me if you can” thing going on, and most nurses (and I found out EMT’s) won’t easily give up. It gets to be a challenge to them. It goes something like this:
Me: “Could you please just insert that IV into the vein in my arm?”
Nurse” WHY would I want to do that! You’ve got such wonderful veins. Why, just look at them standing up there like a true to life topo map!”
Me: “Yeah, they are up there all right but they will move around on ya.”
Nurse” Oh, I can get that little old needle in that vein. No sweat to it. Now, hold on!”
Me: “PLEASE, don’t do this!”
Nurse: “Boy you do have a vein that wants to roll a bit, don’t you? And you’ve got tough hide. You must be out in the sun a lot. “
Me: “Oh, %&^(#J!! Can’t you just $#(^&$ PLEASE use my arm!?? This HURTS!! What’s that plop, plop, plop sound??”
Nurse: “ Oh that sound??!! That’s just a bit of your blood hitting the floor. You’re not anemic are you? My, I’ll have to have housekeeping come in and mop up this puddle, er, I mean, DROPS ! Boy, you REALLY do have tough hide, but that vein is really sticking up there…I’ve never seen a vein look so angry before. I am giving up but I’m going to get one of the EMT guys in here. THEY can get an IV started through elephant hide! Not that you HAVE elephant hide, but they are good at this!”
Me: (thinking to myself)…The EMT’s are better at this than an RN?? What’s wrong with this picture??
EMT guy: “We’ll get that sucker in there; no problem! Just hold still and stop tensing up! Your slippery, bloody hand isn’t making it any easier, ya know.”
By now, my hand is black and blue (seriously, it doesn’t take long) and there is a blueish color streak going up my arm. But, yep, that fella got it in there.
And so it goes…and YES, I will do my best to convince them to USE MY FREAKING ARM when I have my surgery next month. If I am dreading anything, it is THIS part of the whole deal!
But, as Grandpa said, "It'll feel better when it quits hurting." He didn't say that you would NOT forget about it though!
For the Record Book
1 week ago