HAIR STYLES AND MUFFIN TOPS

I’ve had diverse hair styles over the $# decades of my life.

In high school, the style was long and straight; to make it really straight you IRONED your hair. My Sr. year we were wrapping our long hair around pop cans (I never did see any of my friends with beer cans in their hair). It was a real bitch to sleep that way. Way before the pop cans and ironing the hair there were Spoolies. I think they were after bobby pins and before brush rollers but I can’t remember.

Let’s fast forward to the 80’s when I had long, thick to die for hair…and I had it permed curly, CURLY, every 8 months. I wore it that way for YEARS. I even wore it that way after we moved up here in 1992, but I soon found out what the Cowsills meant in the song HAIR (A hive for the buzzin’ bees, a nest for birds, there ain’t no words, etc). Well, the long curly hair wasn’t a hive for the buzzin’ bees, but mosquitoes and deer flies would get tangled up in those curls. Then it was a rush to see who could disentangle them first…me or themselves.

Several years ago, I cut off my long hair, gave up perms and decided to “look my age”. Truthfully, the long, curly hair did NOT look that good on me anymore. Not sure if MY eyesight changed or what…

I went from VERY long and curly to very short and straight. Even the dogs didn’t know me when I came home that way. My ears and neck were cold that entire summer. I actually did feel better; for one thing, it didn’t take me 30 minutes to untangle my hair in order to wash it and let it dry curly…which was a big relief on my shoulder…not spending 30 minutes to untangle it in order to wash it, in order to get the pick thru it.

One of the short hair styles I tried, I guess about 2005, was to have it spiked. This was about the same time I gave up crinking my head to one side in order to hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder. I bought a headset.

The first headset I purchased was the kind that you clip the little battery pack on to your belt and the headset is attached to the battery pack by a thin “cable”. Since I don’t wear belts, it clipped on to the top of my jeans. The headset and the spiked hair-do did not go well together. At the end of the first two phone calls, I was no longer spiked, but I did have an imprint of the headset in the “stiff” hair.

And there was something wrong with that first head set and battery pack. When I would answer a call, as soon as I changed position in my office chair or sat down if I had been standing when I answered the phone, the call would disconnect! It was becoming very frustrating. I tried everything I could imagine of thinking I had assembled it incorrectly…nothing worked.

I was preparing to call Hello Direct (the company I purchased the headset and battery pack from) when it finally dawned on me what was happening. Remember I said I had the battery pack clipped to the top of my jeans?? What I didn’t say was that I had it clipped in front and a bit to the side (which really is the only place one can quickly and easily clip it off and on). Every time I sat down or possibly changed positions, my “muffin top” (AKA belly roll, midriff bulge) was pressing the “end call” button! I am SO glad that I didn’t make that call to complain about the product!!! But I can’t help but wonder how many other people this might have happened to…


I ended up returning that type of headset for a better type; the battery pack sits on the counter and I am not tethered to the phone. And I also changed that particular hairstyle; still short but not spiky!

My muffin top, conversely, has a will of its own and won’t be controlled...AND I ENABLE IT!