In the winter, Dan and I jockey for position to find the best spot in bed to keep our feet warm. Even with a dual control heated mattress pad and the flannel sheets it does not always make for standard, even heating conditions.
During the 9 months out of the year that we have winter conditions (well it SEEMS like 9 months) there is no issue of keeping the sheet tucked in at the foot of the bed. The remaining 3 months of the year, which we refer to as swat season, keeping that top sheet tucked in seems to be an ordeal.
Sometime in May, IF we are lucky, I can take the flannel sheets off and put regular sheets on. This is when the untucking begins. It involves Dan’s side of the bed, but somehow, between 11 p.m. and the time I get up around 5 a.m., the untucking has now caught up with MY side of the bed.
By morning, everything that was tucked in when we went to bed has become a tangled mess. Dan says his “feet have to breathe”. I don’t know what his feet do all winter long, but apparently they don’t have to breathe through the winter months. MY feet like the dark, warm places that a tucked in sheet and blanket(s) provide. I breathe through my mouth at night....
It is more time consuming to make the “summer bed” than the “winter bed”. I basically have to start from scratch and get everything straightened, wrinkles out and the ends tucked back in…just to know that the next morning it will all be the same mess again. I know, I must sound lazy and picky.
BUT, I am at the point of resorting to bed garters, AKA sheet suspenders. I realize these are meant to hold the fitted sheet in place but there must be some way to employ these garters in such a way they can assist in making it less likely for the untucking to commence with the top sheet.
I guess my biggest fear would be that once I had them in place, Dan and his breathing feet would get a toe caught in the elastic part and break some extremity. OR that the garter would come undone and the force of the elastic would shoot back and hit Dan cleanly in the “perconals” (not a Yooper word but part of the title of the book DON’T GET PERCONAL WITH A CHICKEN by author H. Allen Smith). If that were to happen, there would be ALL kinds of things commencing, which would be more than just tangled sheets!
I suppose it is better that I put up with the little sheet and the breathing feet than to risk Dan losing or breaking some essential piece of his anatomy!
3 weeks ago