While we may not have many campers (3 as I am writing this), we do have our share of mosquitoes and WOLF SPIDERS!!! You all know how I am about spiders of any kind but in particular WOLF SPIDERS!!! From a previous story, you also know I was bitten by one a long time ago.
I am the reason the word “arachnophobia” was formulated. I don’t become embarrassed that I gather up my petticoats and scream like a little girl when confronted with a spider that is larger than a penny. What IS embarrassing is that anyone within a 500’ radius is scared out of their drawers when I let out with a specter type yell. I do feel badly about that.
Such is the case the other morning. I was innocently walking down the hallway, past the spare bedroom and I noticed this thing on the ceiling. It was between the size of a quarter and a half dollar (don’t ask me why I choose to measure spiders as loose change). Yep, the dreaded wolf spider. You would have been proud of me; I DID not scream but grew a fantastic crop of goose bumps, did the obligatory, stationary panic in place dance and cussed like a sailor. The only reason I DID NOT scream was due to Dan being in the shower and I didn’t want him to think there was something SERIOUSLY wrong.
It was a Mexican stand off between the wolf and myself but I gathered my wits, and my petticoat and went off in search of battle gear.
When I returned, he was still in the same spot. I had given up my petticoat and donned a skin-diving suit, minus the flippers but with the goggles, a pith helmet on my head and over that my mosquito net. On my lower half over the skin diving suit I had a leather blacksmith’s apron, on my feet I had swampers and on my hands (and up to my elbows) I had veterinary gloves (you know the kind with the elastic at the elbow). In one hand I had a can of Raid Earth Options Flying Insect Killer (I didn’t have any killer for ginormous spiders). I sprayed the Raid towards the spider. He obligingly curled up and fell off the ceiling (this is the reason I put on the swampers). However, he was no where to be found. Well at least no where to be found that I was going to look. I sure as heck was not getting down on the floor on all fours to see if I could find him. I thought for sure he fell on the bed, but I couldn’t find him there either. So, I was left with a room that smelled of cloves and a “spray spot” on the ceiling.
After Dan was dressed, he tried to find the spider too and he DID try in earnest. But no luck.
And I am also not fond of amphibians. I am by no means a “toad whisperer”. I do try to avoid running over them with the mower and I don’t mind that they play around in the plants by the bird bath (on the ground bird bath). I just am not a toad toucher and I don’t have a fervor for frogs.
But the other day I had to put those feelings aside.
Someone had been in the lobby to drop off brochures for their business and informed me I had a big, fat toad on the deck. We both agreed he wasn’t hurting anything and was probably eating his fair share of insects (hopefully wolf spiders).
Well, I got to thinking about this toad and remembered one time some one decided to stomp on a poor unarmed toad that was on our sidewalk (which really ticked Dan and I off…there was NO reason for anyone to do that). So out of concern for the wellbeing of this toad I thought I better move him some place safer. I hoped I could just “chase him” down the ramp of the deck.
I went out on the deck and couldn’t find him, so GOOD! He’d managed to get off the deck by himself! I came back in the house and almost stepped on this HUGE toad! While I was going OUT, he came in and I didn’t even see him! I could have been the one to squash him flat! Without meaning too!
“Well, this is just great! I’ve got a toad IN my dining room, now in the kitchen and I do NOT want to touch this spongy, fleshy thing!” I don’t believe in the wart thing and I wish I believed in the “kiss a toad and he will turn into a handsome prince and grant you 3 wishes” (or am I combining a couple of fairy tales??). I just do NOT like the texture of a toad!
He had finally hopped himself into a corner. I put on my latex dish washing gloves (didn’t figure I’d need the vet gloves for this), grabbed a kitchen towel and managed to gently take him into custody. I carried the tricky toad to the ramp and put him on the ground beside it…and I haven’t seen him since.
Boy you can tell it is a slow season when I am writing about toads and spiders! But, in closing, here is something you can try;
THREE TREE TOADS TIED TOGETHER TRIED TO TROT TO TOWN TWICE!
For the Record Book
1 week ago