I think there should be a horror movie made about dandelion stems and their fuzzy heads. I spent 8 hours on the mower two days ago; mainly because the dandelion stems and fuzzy heads made the campground look “unkempt”. Due to all the fuzz flying around and getting sucked up in the engine, TWICE I had to blow the filter out and blow fuzz off the engine. True, the poplar trees were also “shedding” fuzzy stuff so there was a good amount of that floating around the atmosphere too.
The campground looked SO nice when I got done with it (I’m not done mowing though!!). The fuzzy headed stems were gone. It had taken me another 5 hour to get all the fuzz out of my eyes and my throat. I don’t know how many times I inhaled fuzz. Of course, that would set me to coughing which meant I was inhaling MORE fuzz. And, any place there was exposed skin, I had applied sun block…I looked like I had been tarred and feathered, without the tar. It was not a fun day.
THEY’RE BAAACCCKKK….This morning, the campground looks like it did before I mowed!!!! Will someone PA-LEEZ explain to me how this phenomenon works??!!! I’m beginning to think that the ONLY way to actually cut those stems into tiny fragments is with a set of professional Ginsu knives. Of course, they would have to be rotating at about 3000 RPM. And since they come with a 50 year guarantee you’d no longer even need the mower! Think of the gas savings too!! Another plus; order the complete set and you can use the Ginsu kitchen shears for trimming hedges or cutting down trees! You won’t need a DR Trimmer!! OR a wood chipper!!
I think I can even come up with a blueprint for this motor. It will be comprised of an outer container which is divided into a first portion and a second portion by a wall attached to the first portion. Are ya with me so far?? A battery operated electrical motor is attached to an inner surface of the first portion. The distance from the center of the first portion to the outside is measured and marked every 30° (don’t ask me why; I just thought it sounded like something an engineer or an inventor would say). There will be a switch activating the motor. A whirling pipe extends from the first portion through a hole into the wall into the second portion. The Ginsu knives will be fastened to two outposts, each with a 20 tooth gear. I think it should be 20 and not 10 so I can manage a wider cut. There will be an opening cut into the second portion from which grass clippings AND DAMNED TOUGH DANDELION STEMS, will be ejected. Now, we have to decide how to mount this contraption. If you have as much grass to mow as we do, you don’t want to have to walk all over the place. There has got to be a way to make this self propelled; something that requires bungee cords, duct tape, and maybe an old wheelbarrow. I’ll have to think on that a while….that is what I do when I am mowing…THINK. I did NOT say I think CLEARLY, I just said I THINK!
For the Record Book
1 week ago