This is a story that I shared with my snowmobile readers a year ago:
Dan is REALLY pushing his luck. I can excuse this happening once, but twice is really pushing it. Dan was hooking up my neck traction thing for me. I had my head in the cloth part (AKA “sling thing”) that goes around under your chin, etc and that fastens to a good size piece of shiny metal which then fastens to a pulley system with a cord. The other end of that cord goes through another pulley and on the end of that cord is an 8-10 pound bag of water. Dan had tension on the cord while he was trying to “tie” the water bag to the cord but some how the cord slipped right through his manly fingers which meant that shiny metal piece came down and knocked me a good one on the top of my head. (Did I mention that it was heavy?) In my position, with my head in a sling, I couldn’t defend myself or even swing at Dan because he immediately grabbed the other end of the cord and pulled. By his quick thinking (a form of self preservation) I was again sitting straight and tall with my head still in this “sling thing”. Dan’s quick thinking also prevented a verbal attack on his person because this sling thing (when weight is pulling on the other end of the cord) pulls your lips and cheeks up by your ears and your eyes disappear under your eyebrows. You cannot talk…you cannot swallow; you CAN, however, drool. I was trying to tell him, “Uf ur gna bt m n ma hd, ge m a drn hr ht” (remember, my lips and cheeks are up by my ears which caused my speech to be slightly impaired). Dan, ever the concerned husband, says “ Are you, tee hee, all right tee hee? What, tee hee, did you say? I can’t understand you, tee hee.” I motioned for him to give me some slack, but he felt given what had just happened HE was better off holding the other end of the rope so I couldn’t reach him or verbally abuse him. Through universal sign language, I finally convinced him I wasn’t going to hurt him and to please slowly release the pressure. He was able to contain his laughter long enough for me to explain to him some of the things I had been saying (he had no trouble with the gestures, understood them real well)…which in case you are interested, that gibberish I wrote up above was “If you are gonna beat me on the head, get me a darn hard hat!” So, we tried it again and had the same results, only this time he quickly got the whole thing tied up, got way out of my reach and left me hanging…literally! Other than the bumps on the head, the traction contraption DOES feel good! I think Dan should give it a try, hmmm????
2 weeks ago